Sophia

Loves music and playing dress up. I love those things about her.

When

Did she get so BIG?

I mean, she has ALWAYS been a fiercely independent, strong, smart and capable child. But when did she turn into a little girl?? Today was Sophia's first swim lesson. She loves the water, always has, but today she amazed me. She was keeping up with the big kids, the 5 year olds. Ellie and her are in the same class and it actually went well. I was worried Ellie might boss her around, but they were fantastic together. Ellie  was very sweet with her.Sophia didn't stop smiling the whole time. Neither did I.

Princess Play Date

My girls have been asking to have a playdate with friends for weeks! So I put together a little luncheon and party for them today. I covered party hats with fabric and ribbon which the girls decorated, we also decorated cupcakes and of course there was plenty of running around and play time. I made lunch for the moms, yummy salad and cheese bread.We had 6 little friends show up, as well as mommies. Ellie and Sophia were thrilled with their party, so it made all the hard work worthwhile. I love being able to create some memories for them, especially with Ellie going to school in the fall, I want to have lots of fun girly moments together.

Do you ever feel like...

you need one of these to be heard, understood? That is how I have been feeling lately. Of course a bullhorn creates a deafening, obtrusive, obnoxious image! Yes, all of those things for sure come to mind when you see, or better yet, hear someone use one. But really, I feel invisible sometimes. Simply completely invisible. It has been one of the mantras of my life that if you don't like the situation you find yourself in, change it! I feel like I have been busting my bum to be positive, open, friendly, social and yet still feeling like I haven't made a dent in finding friends. Moving here has been HARD. Every time we move I have to reinvent myself, find new friends, establish contacts, etc. It is a lovely paradox of military life. I love meeting new people and exploring and all that, but I wonder why THIS move, THIS location has been such an adjustment. Leaving Italy was hard for so many reasons. We left behind a wonderful place and wonderful friends, but Italy was hard living at times, life wasn't easy, it was different. Opportunities to be enriched culturally were there, but if you wanted an easy life, forget it! 

Here I find that life is so much easier and convenient and has all the things anyone could ever want, and yet I am so lonely. Sure there are moments when I see people that I have met and we exchange pleasantries etc. Occasionally I even get out of my house and socialize! But where are the real connections? Where is the friend I know I can call at a moment's notice when things go wrong? Where is my sounding board? Still searching. In the meantime I struggle each day to find some lovely meaning in life, working hard to take care of my kids, taking on a new calling that involves a tremendous amount of time and energy and effort, all the while trying to grow as a person and expand my own dreams in the process. I keep hoping that the relationships I crave in my life will begin to materialize. I will continue to live with that faith and just be me, maybe then I will feel that I don't need an obnoxious bullhorn to be noticed.

Serendipity

Found a pleasant surprise in our backyard tonight.

PEONIES! I have been wanting to grow peonies for years, and here we have TWO varieties growing in my backyard. This makes me very very happy.

25 weeks plus a few days...

25 weeks. I feel like I could 'pop' already. I just feel stretched a bit,and round. =) I have only gained 10 pounds so far, I am hoping to only gain another ten. With Sophia I was able to keep it down to 20, so here's hoping for a repeat. After trying to take some photos yesterday of my belly I realized that self portraits are so HARD! I think I took 100 pics and all but about three were awful. Baby boy is moving around like crazy which is a good sign. I am glad he is active and healthy. He is a STRONG little guy, I feel his movements more accutely than I did with either girl, I also think he is going to be a bigger baby. Just thoughts, not sure what will really happen, but I am just grateful everthing is going well to this point. Both girls are really excited about the baby, especially Sophia who really wants to 'see him now'. Its cute. She likes to touch my belly and talk to the baby. Ellie is still hesitant, but I am sure she will be excited once he arrives.

...

Today has been one of 'those' days. Days when I STRUGGLE and FAIL with my patience. Its actually been one of those WEEKS when nothing seems to go right and everything is wrong, kids just don't seem to want to listen, be obedient, follow istructions or generally go with the flow. I was so looking forward to having some down time today, I just NEEDED it, needed a break today to somehow disconnect a little...but that didn't happen. Everytime I went to sit down for a minute one of the girls would get into something or throw a fit, or fight or break something. I think my FAVORITE moment of the day (heavy sarcasm here) was when I went to go make some lunch for myself I sent the girls out back with bubbles. Somehow Sophia found the carton of salt and proceeded to empty the salt into the brand new bubble bottles. Ridiculous. I know. You are all laughing at me, but its just stuff like that I don't understand! WHY?? Why why why why. Huge messes. Beads all over the floor, broken toys, tantrums at my friends house when it was time to leave....and the list goes on. Finally I decided we needed to make something together so I could keep my eyes on both of them at once. SO, we made donuts. The girls love working in the kitchen, so this was a good diversion. The donuts were a yummy antpasti to my simple dinner tonight, the idea of cooking flew out the window around noon. They are now happily in the bath and I am ready to go to bed, weary of this day.

They don't look like much, but they were yummy.