Sunday, April 4, 2010


I am so tired tonight! But overall pleased with a wonderful Easter weekend. Yesterday was spent busily running from one wonderful egg hunt to the next enjoying our new friends here in MD. When we first got here I felt like people didn't accept me or were reluctant to know me. I have found that that is not true. I think folks here are just cautious. They want to get to know you, learn about you, see what you are made of, and then slowly, slowly, you become part of their worlds. I felt this way today as I mused on how much fun my girls had collecting eggs and playing with new friends. We are still slowly making friends, but I hope that soon we will find ourselves comfortably acquainted here with people we love.

Something that I LOVE here in the East Coast has been the definite transition of seasons. Winter was BRUTAL, and spring has entered triumphant, all knowing, warm and sweet. I feel a new sense of purpose, the ability to accomplish so much more, the desire to be creative again, after a long hiatus and hibernation under the blankets of snow we had this winter. Winter just seems to sap my strength, it didn't help that I was in my first trimester, struggling to feel good and not be weary. Now I am back to my old self, I am sewing and taking TONS of photos. I am working on projects with the girls, and learning new things all the time. I am inspired by women around me who are artsy and accomplished and constantly creating life for themselves. I am watching my little 5 year old Ellie grow into an amazingly sweet and aware person, conscious of others, deeply sensitive and kind. My heart is aching as we near summer, which means soon she will be going off to school...what will I do with myself? How will Sophia cope? Oh well we will handle it, and in the mean time enjoying our time together.

I am grateful in particular today for our semi annual general conference. Every six months, I sit back and listen to the important messages from our prophets and leaders. Each conference is unique and each conference I always feel like the messages have been written for me. Things I took away from the wonderful messages this time are these: do not procrastinate becoming who you need to be, watch and teach your children, love each other and selflessly serve each other. Get to know the Savior more, he is our greatest advocate and wants us to realize our individual potential. It wasn't easy dealing with two small kids during the broadcasts, but Ellie and I filled the Sunday morning session with drawings and letters and word practice. I am deeply touched right now as some important things are happening in my life. I feel overwhelmed (yet again) by the call to serve in the church and work with the children of our primary. I wonder now why me, (again) what do I have to offer, what more do I need to learn? It has also been a really hard week, I have been stressed and tired and have felt like my anxieties and worries about life in general have been near the surface. I have not been my best self. I realized that this is the adversary working on me distracting me from what is most important. I must do better at not allowing him to work on me, and focus more on the positive things of life, and search the scriptures for the answers to my questions. TRUST. PRAY. BELIEVE. WORK. SEARCH. It's amazing how no matter where I am in my life, these things are so vital to me. I hope I am learning some of life's lessons. I hope I am becoming who I need to be. I hope that after this weekend of beauty and life, new beginnings and hope, I will go forward remembering them and use these thoughts to propel me forward, to the me yet to be.

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